Posted in Uncategorized on Saturday, March 29, 2008 | No Comments »
Created by a committee of real business managers–but not yet signed off by any of them–Proactive comes complete with six or seven card decks of still undetermined significance, a board that may or may not be round, three dice a spinner or a “to be announced,” several revision notes that contradict previous revision notes but [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, March 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
And you thought you knew all the good doctor’s works!
This new compendium of unpublished or unceremoniously discarded stories features such deeply buried treasures as “To Think that I Saw It with the Aid of Pharmaceuticals,” “Yertle the Turtle and Other Tales of Yiddish Marine Life,” “Oh, the Places Your Social Betters Will Go,” “One [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, March 21, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Tired of assembling the Imperial Landing Craft from Return of the Jedi, Dumbledore’s office from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Robert Preston from The Last Starfighter or any of a myriad of pre-designed Lego movie tie-in models that ask nothing of your mental faculties and leave you only with something recognizable but ultimately [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Thursday, March 20, 2008 | No Comments »
Ebenezer Scrooge is a despicable old miser with a heart as warm as a dying ember and a life as cold as the thin gruel he dines on nightly. That is until one Christmas Eve, when he’s visited by wave after wave of nubile college girls just dying to flash their funbags for our camera [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Who shall become Number One High Dark Master Magician ? Will it be Excelsior Emerito, son of Lord Rannifan of the dreaded Blue-Eyed Synchro Dragon Consortium? Or will you be able to smite your enemies and control Ghangshire with your Continuous Use Dijon Packs?
Remember to win you must conserve your Tanker-Ko fusion forces, energize with [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Monday, March 17, 2008 | 2 Comments »
What does the future hold in store for you? How could it possibly matter? When did these kinds of questions ever hold any significance for you? Why even bother reading the rest of this paragraph?
Introducing Ennuija Board, the exciting “talking board” for those who, quite honestly, have heard enough and can’t imagine that anyone or [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Friday, March 14, 2008 | No Comments »
Relive that magical, now almost mythical night you finally became a man and solved your very first real puzzle with First-Timer’s Rubik’s Cube.
The anticipation and anxiety begin in your dorm room, older brother’s car or parents’ beach house as the far more experienced First-Timer’s Rubik’s Cube calmly suggests you “Relax,” “Put on some music,” “Maybe [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Thursday, March 13, 2008 | 2 Comments »
That upstanding ursine family from childhood throws off the shackles of civilization and finally embraces its grizzly and grisly instincts in this new collection of bedtime reading musts.
Stories include The Berenstain Bears Rub Themselves against Trees, The Berenstain Bears Wander Aimlessly for Several Days in Search of Suitable Sex Partners and this year’s Caldecott Winner, [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 | No Comments »
Sure, mobiles over the baby’s crib are nice but why waste your wee one’s formative years teaching them basic shapes and colors when they can learn that 200,000 Chechnyan rebels have amassed on the outskirts of Moscow?
Just install the news crawl along the inside perimeter of the child’s crib. Then marvel as your infant’s eyes [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Introducing a party game that finally captures all the mirth and merriment of chronic resentment, indirect stubbornness, unexplained sullenness and even disavowed resistance!
Simply turn Passive-Aggressive Simon on and wait. And wait. And wait. The game can go for hours without uttering a sound or emitting a single flash, all the while expressing a willful [...]
